Don't go breaking my heart...

Well as the days get closer and as I prepare myself for a change (and I am not a fan of change), I am starting to view this as a break up.  Its the same old "its not you its me" line.  Its not your fault food that I am this way, its my fault.  I allowed you to comfort me, I allowed you to deceive me, and worst of all I allowed you to control me.  So as we part ways, I am sure to remember the good times we had, but the feeling of regret and disgust after we were together, is what will get me through all this.  I don't blame you, I mean how could I, you were only doing what you thought you were supposed to do, and boy did you do it well.  


I was the girl that would go to the drive through and be so ashamed of all the food that I was ordering, that I would order 2 drinks so that the person taking my order would think that it wasn't all for me.  I was the girl that would elect to go on a food run for work, so that I could order an extra burger, devour it in my car, and then eat a meal with my coworkers when I got back into the office.  I was the girl that would sneak and lie about food.  Keyword, was... I was that girl.  I am no longer going to let myself be that girl.


So as we part ways, as we break up, I'll be OK, I will live without all the bad food in my life.  For once I will finally be eating to live, and not living to eat.  After meeting my now husband, 4 years ago, I now know I don't need food to comfort me, I just need love.  The only person that has actually ever put me down was my sons father, and it was only at the time that we were breaking up, did he call me names and tell me that no one would want me because of the way that I looked.  Well smack to your face, I am now happily married to the man of my dreams despite what I looked like.  And possibly the fact that my DH loves me for me, was a reason I didn't change my lifestyle, but when he so kindly sent me a message, trying to not hurt my feelings he said "I just want you to be healthy, I want you to be around for a very long time."  That's all I needed to hear.


So here goes... old food lifestyle... I'll be the "bad guy" here and say we are officially broken up.