Temptations are everywhere and come in all forms. For me, they are the convenience of fast food. When I thought I wanted to challenge myself a few weeks ago with not eating out in April, I didn't realize how much work it would take on resisting temptations. I was not blessed with the self control that others might have, and I always gave in. Which I tend to find a little humor in because I never have and never will succumb to other temptations like cheating, because I wouldn't want to put the ones I love through that, so why didn't I think the same about my eating habits. I have been down this road before and if I am really serious about it, I can do well and lose weight, but once I stop caring, and get lazy again then the weight packs back on.
Right now. as hard as this is to admit, I am at my heaviest than I have ever been. But since cutting out fast food and dining out, I have lost 3.5 pounds. Not looking for a congratulations, save it for later :). I have found that I have the hardest time when I am working 10-13 hour days to go home and cook, so I am learning to plan ahead and prepare meals in advance. Now this may come as a shocker but I find myself NOT craving all the greasy foods that I once consumed weekly. Don't get me wrong, pizza sounds good every now and then, big mac or fries sound good, but never tempting enough for me to break this.
I am a woman on a mission. A mission of change. A mission of having more self worth. For once a mission to make sure that I am Happy. (on a side note every time I hear or see the word happy, I sing this song in my head and sometimes out loud ha ha)
Having coworkers involved with me, and challenging themselves, helps a great deal. I have something to prove to these guys. I feel that I have to let them know that I and determined to do this. There will always be some type of temptation staring you right in the face, but the only way to defeat it, is to not give in and avoid it. Each day it gets easier, each day I think about it less and less, each day I am prouder and prouder of myself. Having gone through an out patient rehab myself, the one thing they teach you is that you need to not surround yourself with anything that will make you relapse. Now mine was for drinking, and learning about myself and why I was drinking as much as I was. I learned a lot, funny why I never applied those lessons to food. But now I think about why I eat, what do I get out of it? Why do I feel the need to clean my entire plate? I am not even hungry most of the time.
I am a firm believer in that you can always improve yourself and relationships, so I have taken on a whole new hobby of self help books. First one was for my marriage (5 Love Languages, which I am still trying to get my husband to read), and now some for cooking better. Maybe all the money I am saving will now be spent in books :). Here is the next one on the list:
Next week will be a true test when we take a short road trip to LA for Easter. My poor dear husband wont be able to dine at his favorite restaurant in San Diego and I wont be able to taste the mouth watering lumpia that I crave every time I go home. But I got this. I haven't cheated once. I barely even indulge in junk food that has been sitting in our pantry. "Some how I know I'll be strong".
