I have been dreading writing in here, mostly because I feel like I failed last month, but in my defense it was a busy month and ... well actually I don't really have a good enough (if there is such a thing) excuse for not completing my calorie counting in May.
I did start the month of with a 2.5 week long sinus infection, 2 trips to urgent care, so somewhere along the lines I stopped counting. Mostly because I was barely eating. Then the last half of the month we were packing and moving and unpacking. So again I was barely eating and when we did... it was convenient fast food, and boy o boy did I pay for that fast food. Upset stomach almost every day.
Also the weirdest thing happened, I had not had soda in over 2 months, first night in our house, as Brian and I are wobbling around because our feet and legs hurt so bad from moving, I ordered a pizza and Pepsi, gave in and drank it. Then the next day had another soda, couple of hours later, on our way home from picking up our 6 year old basset hound, I felt really sick. Got home, ran to the bathroom, and up came all that soda. Haven't had a dark soda since. That might just have been what the doctor ordered. Now it might have even been the soda that made me sick or nauseous, but I tend to associate "experiences and or memories" with some type of food. I am pretty sure I am not the only one. So like in this instance, when I think, see, smell dark soda it keeps reminding me of getting sick.
Maybe this is where food for comfort comes from. Cheesecake Factory puts a smile on face just thinking about it, because that is where Brian and I ate with my family when we got married. Lumpia reminds me of home, tamales remind me of Christmas at my dads house, Famous Dave's reminds me of the night that Brian proposed to me. I still remember the sandwich I had when I was with my sister in the hospital when she went into labor with my gorgeous little nephew.
I have noticed that when I am happy and everything is going great, then I eat less. I am sure that there is some science behind all this, and I should probably read up on it, but at least I am noticing this. So back to failing at something not always being bad. I would rather have tried and failed than not try at all. Just like love, better to have loved and lost, than to never love at all. So I tried to count calories because I know it works, but I didn't follow through. And I am well aware that just because I have things going on in my life isn't an excuse for not completing what is at hand.
Hopefully now that we are settled in, I can get back on track to complete my goals. Brian and I have a big trip coming up and I want to sit comfortably on that flight to Hawaii comfortably. Baby steps, Hawaii is the first goal, then I will work from there. On a good note the 8 pounds that I lost in April I have kept off, wish I had lost more, but I have too look on the bright side and be happy that I didn't gain anything.
So here is trying again, and maybe again and again, but at least I am trying. Its all I ever expect from the people in my life, that they try their best, so I guess its about time I do the same for me.
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